why the survival of your relationship is important to me

this post is dedicated to the people who have just found love (especially this one friend). i hope you are reading this.

i always think that people are similar in some ways. though they have different believe system, feelings are feelings and love is love. People are attracted to love despite knowing that the significant other may be different and unchangeable. As in a relationship people are naturally different in many ways (i.e. gender, faith, likes and dislikes and many more), disagreement will somehow find its way in every area of the relationship.

He or she may not like the people you are friends with, despise the stupid jokes you often do, resent the way your family way of life or even feel unhappy about the toilet seat you often forgot to put down.

For a newly formed relationship, love may be the strongest factor that shades all the imperfection of the other person. That is why there is a saying in the Malay proverb that "kentut pun bau wangi" or the English translation of it " even the stinkiest fart will not bother you", Funny as it may sound but it is the truth. When one is at the beginning of a relationship everything seems unique and some would say cute. but after six month or more the ugliness could no longer be tolerated. So the only consequences is to criticise and argue (well yeah, it actually starts with mentioning about it politely, i'm just forwarding it to the next stage).

So what will you do about it? would you just ignore those criticism despite feeling pinched thinking and hearing about it? or would you actually change yourself for that one person?

That is why i intend to enlighten you with this particular post. You must have a bigger reason to have a relationship. the relationship should means something more than just love. Let me explain in detail how i see relationship. Relationship is not about just having the other person close to you it is about learning to accept differences. It is way bigger than love because it shows that there is hope that you would be a good example to the rest of us of how you make the relationship work.

i am focusing on this thing as lately, what i see in our local news are immature people hating the other person's guts not because the person did something bad like hurting someone but because the other person have differing believe in God, because they are born in a different race, because they have different lifestyle and many more. It hurts me when i see people who can't find a way to accept each other.

You might say this could not be the reason to why i think your relationship is important as you might think that it has nothing to do with the hate scenario happening around us. But in reality, it is. It has everything to do with what goes on right now. The behaviour you present in your small community, actually spreads around. If you fail your relationship just because of the reasons i mentioned above then you do not understand how important a relationship is to the community.

:) let me just say this one more time. Despite being a small piece of the community, you are the role model of the people around you. You give hope to the people around you unconsciously that there is a way to compromise with your partner even if the whole world is against you. Because I somehow believe that God does not make mistake and He made you feel that way because of a reason beyond our understanding. And i am telling you that you are not alone as i will always support you even in my prayers.

Jewellery and I are not good friends

Women in general have strong lust for beautiful jewellery. It has become part of a complete clothing that one might feel incomplete without wearing at least three type of jewellery (i.e. necklace, earrings and bracelets). This type of jewellery thinking has made its production massive and huge. From the production of jewellery which cost a penny to the ones which match the price of a good fully furnished house. Hence one might wonder how did it all came to start? When did women decide to start wearing jewellery?

I cannot give much opinion for the women who lives all around the world but I can share some fact to why Malaysian Malay women wear them. It actually starts as early as four months old. Parents dress their daughters with anclelace to signal the people around them that their new born child is a girl. Weird as it may sounds, Malay parents just want to stop people from asking them whether it a boy or a girl.

As the girl grow one and a half years old , some parents even had their child's earlobe punctured. I only had mine when I was four years old. I don't remember the pain but mum says I had cried only for the first hour. I think that is why people do it as early as one and half years old, they don't want the child to remember the pain. For the guys out there who wears earrings, I hear that it stings. I guess beauty is pain.

I am not much a fan of jewellery, counting to this day I only have four necklaces , two rings and seven bracelets. But I do have plenty of earrings. The reason of not wanting to buy more does not mean that I am not feminine enough, but its because I hate the idea of wearing expensive things on my neck. My mum bought me a very expensive necklace because I have good grades for my Malaysian Certificate of Education or also known as SPM. I used to wear it everyday and every where until the day someone followed me back home. It was horrifying as bad thoughts intensely circulate in my head at that time. Thus I vow to only wear it on special occasion.

But that is not the only reason, I hear lots of stories of family fighting over inherited jewellery. For one its maybe because it cost a lot and the price of gold jewellery does not depreciate, and secondly its sort of because it can be associated with personal desire that made jewellery seem more than just a piece of metal. In a way its like fighting over make believe things that by owning a jewellery signify something personal. I used to say that, since I only have a brother I would not have to worry for who gets the family jewellery. But a friend told me that if my brother does get marry and have daughters, he might demand for the jewellery as well. But then again, if such things were to happen I think I'll just give it to him, but i'm taking the houses. hahahhaha

Coming back to the question of "When did women decide to start wearing jewellery?" well the mass media for one did a very good job in advertising. Secondly the social status recognition of those wearing are elegant and beautiful. I also hear from married friends that wearing expensive jewellery on certain occasion also shows the generosity and success of the husband. It seems that, if people don't wear jewellery it might lower the pride of their husbands. It is like saying that the husband are not doing well in their business or working life. It a dreaded string of invisible social expectation. Though people would deny such things, it seems that there is no escape to such demand.

I remember an article taken from a book posted somewhere on the net. It says that young Malay women are asked to look and wear decent before stepping out of the house. It is about representing the family that you born from. It symbolizes that you are well mannered and that your parents did good in raising you. Besides that, looking good may lure good candidates for future husbands. And in those days most women are to get married as early as ten years old or the moment you hit puberty (That is why you can meet people who their children are only a decade years different of age with their mothers).

i don't know which stand i would side if there is ever a question between choosing to wear or not to wear jewellery. But one thing i know deep in my heart is that those beautiful mask you wear does not represent who you are. If finding a candidate of husband is about who wears the most expensive jewellery, I think that the husband are full of himself. It reflect that the guys themselves are actually materialistic (though they always say women are the materialistic ones). So here is the conclusion, good friends are the one you contact often while the not so good you contact when you have something you want. Thus, jewellery and I are not good friends as I only use them when there is a need to do so. And that is it.

testing...

i am very shy now.

it has been ages since i wrote anything.

sorry because i have been missing. its a break i needed so much from the overwhelming emotion.

:) missed the sound of typing. tuk!tuk!tuk!

too tired.

i am too tired to do anything. i can't even write a decent post since last week as i am too tired to write. i feel like i am slowly falling down.

though i try to stand strong, it feels like i don't have that passion to stand for now.

maybe i should just let myself fall down. then they will realise that i need rest too. i honestly think that i can only take some rest while i am on the floor.

my legs hurt, my eyes hurt and my emotions hurt, it is just too unbearable to continue standing. they have drained every bit of my strength till i no longer have any to give. i can't give what i don't have.


will be away for now.......

Why do we keep improving ourselves?

To many people, defining accomplishment is a tool to measure where you are and how much you have gained. It is a self satisfying act that only the person himself would know how it would feel. Some friends showed to me indirectly that accomplishment can be addictive. You are drawn by the fact of its fulfillment and you find your self wanting for more. Greed some might say, but it seems that no one can deny that it is a good trait.

The fact that many people are unaware of such high is because many of us do not justify the means of measurement to stage how far we have accomplished. Passion is good but having a tool to continue grading ourselves is important too. What makes it difficult is perhaps the definition by itself, depends entirely on whom observing it.

If you are a self satisfying person, you define everything according to how you want it to be. However if you are the crowd type of people, what ever happens must be inline to what people want. I myself think that it should be a balance of both worlds. Writing only about what you want may not be popular to the crowed reading. You may end up being the only reader of your stuff. Being what people want would also do no good. You only do what people want and in the end you are not even aware of the writer you are becoming.

Have bits of yourself in your writing, like what I post previously, every writings have their own character and style. Do not afraid what people might say, as what they say means that they read your post and want more of you. The challenge that most writer have are the fact that they are looking for the link between what people want and what you want. Having a thoughtful mind, would seem reasonable to understand that what you write does affect the people reading.

Enough about writer, besides writing I do enjoy a couple of stuff. Drawing for instance let you express visually to what you see inside your mind. Though I am far from being an expert at drawing, I still get credit from the people around me. It makes sense that I am a right side brain kind of people.

All I know, that what ever I am doing, I do it continually from time to time. I enjoy that it gives me the freedom to express and be myself. So the question to why do people continue to improve themselves might comes back to the answer to why they do it in the first place. Though the road is winding and narrow, the struggle to pursue what they want continues because it significantly merits the person they want to be in the future.

I have learned that what image you have of yourself in the end defines the things that you are currently doing. No one wants to procrastinate if they know it clearly that they want to be great in a certain area. Although the road varies from one desire to another, what seems to stay similar is the knowing of what you want to be. That is why people continue to improve themselves.

So you think you are tough? Hardcore?

just watch as i perform a magic trick

My head is spinning and it seems that everything I do just made it worst. Something is in my throat tickling my cough. owh its nasty. The only time I do not cough is when I am in deep sleep, well that is of cause if I am even aware of doing it.

Since I am in the mood of sharing my sluggishness, I have imbedded a video that might explain how my throat is making me feel.

The best thing besides the volcano eruption is the sound his friends are making. Let me list down my all time favourite.

10. can you feel that ? (it sounds funnier if the tone were like after giving brian a punch...can you feel that huh? can you feel that?)

9. owh…waaaaaa!!!! (cliche)

8. OMG… OMG…OMG….. (i know its obvious but its a dude saying it)

7. It is the worst I ever …. (what do you expect?)

6. What is that!??!! (do you still need me to tell you?)

5. It smells so bad… (okay this made me wanna vomit)

4. does it feel good??? (owh yeah baby)

3. how much could there be… (a pinch of mystery i see)

2. It is like a brain… (never see that coming)


and the number one goes to.....

1. omg its like cadet cheese.. (owhhh yeah..... that is the one )

did it work? i'm guessing yes... lol

well I hope, that would make your day because it sure made mine.

cough*

cough*

Cheaper in those days

My mum used to say that everything used to be cheap. She would remind me that she only needed RM 0.50 cent and it was enough for her whole school day. She said bas fares were only 10 cent, two glasses of drinks for 10 cent and a lunch for 15 cent. She could even save 15 cent a day. Yeah, things were that cheap.

Today, you are lucky if you could save some from spending RM 10 a day. What can I say, even a trip to the toilet cost 30 cent?

Imagine if I could travel back and bring a long a ten ringgit note with me. I would be rich, rich I say. Since going to school would only cost me 10 cent, imagine what 10 ringgit would do? I’d be traveling the whole country.

Well maybe not all places, I’m not even sure if transportation were good in those days. Look at the picture below.

This picture of bas mini (we Malaysian call it) might not look appealing these days, but in those days it must have been like riding the Ferrari. Only the town people could afford taking a bus. Mum also said that her friends used to travel 10 kilometers (6.25 miles) in a bicycle everyday just to be in school and another 10 kilometers to get home. It was a common traveling transportation in those days.

These days you find people doing it just for the sake of having fun. I guess that is why people in those days don’t go to gyms to shed pound.

Radios were the source of their entertainment. They even listen to sport matches on it. That is why radio commentators were like the celebrities. Black and white televisions however were only for the rich. Dad told me that he would have to go to his friend house just to catch the wonder years show.

Things are different now, what used to cost for 1 ringgit might triple in today’s life (that is if we find it on sale). A movie used to cost my dad only 1 ringgit; but today with the same amount you could only get a glass of hot tea.

Inflation?