why the survival of your relationship is important to me

this post is dedicated to the people who have just found love (especially this one friend). i hope you are reading this.

i always think that people are similar in some ways. though they have different believe system, feelings are feelings and love is love. People are attracted to love despite knowing that the significant other may be different and unchangeable. As in a relationship people are naturally different in many ways (i.e. gender, faith, likes and dislikes and many more), disagreement will somehow find its way in every area of the relationship.

He or she may not like the people you are friends with, despise the stupid jokes you often do, resent the way your family way of life or even feel unhappy about the toilet seat you often forgot to put down.

For a newly formed relationship, love may be the strongest factor that shades all the imperfection of the other person. That is why there is a saying in the Malay proverb that "kentut pun bau wangi" or the English translation of it " even the stinkiest fart will not bother you", Funny as it may sound but it is the truth. When one is at the beginning of a relationship everything seems unique and some would say cute. but after six month or more the ugliness could no longer be tolerated. So the only consequences is to criticise and argue (well yeah, it actually starts with mentioning about it politely, i'm just forwarding it to the next stage).

So what will you do about it? would you just ignore those criticism despite feeling pinched thinking and hearing about it? or would you actually change yourself for that one person?

That is why i intend to enlighten you with this particular post. You must have a bigger reason to have a relationship. the relationship should means something more than just love. Let me explain in detail how i see relationship. Relationship is not about just having the other person close to you it is about learning to accept differences. It is way bigger than love because it shows that there is hope that you would be a good example to the rest of us of how you make the relationship work.

i am focusing on this thing as lately, what i see in our local news are immature people hating the other person's guts not because the person did something bad like hurting someone but because the other person have differing believe in God, because they are born in a different race, because they have different lifestyle and many more. It hurts me when i see people who can't find a way to accept each other.

You might say this could not be the reason to why i think your relationship is important as you might think that it has nothing to do with the hate scenario happening around us. But in reality, it is. It has everything to do with what goes on right now. The behaviour you present in your small community, actually spreads around. If you fail your relationship just because of the reasons i mentioned above then you do not understand how important a relationship is to the community.

:) let me just say this one more time. Despite being a small piece of the community, you are the role model of the people around you. You give hope to the people around you unconsciously that there is a way to compromise with your partner even if the whole world is against you. Because I somehow believe that God does not make mistake and He made you feel that way because of a reason beyond our understanding. And i am telling you that you are not alone as i will always support you even in my prayers.

Jewellery and I are not good friends

Women in general have strong lust for beautiful jewellery. It has become part of a complete clothing that one might feel incomplete without wearing at least three type of jewellery (i.e. necklace, earrings and bracelets). This type of jewellery thinking has made its production massive and huge. From the production of jewellery which cost a penny to the ones which match the price of a good fully furnished house. Hence one might wonder how did it all came to start? When did women decide to start wearing jewellery?

I cannot give much opinion for the women who lives all around the world but I can share some fact to why Malaysian Malay women wear them. It actually starts as early as four months old. Parents dress their daughters with anclelace to signal the people around them that their new born child is a girl. Weird as it may sounds, Malay parents just want to stop people from asking them whether it a boy or a girl.

As the girl grow one and a half years old , some parents even had their child's earlobe punctured. I only had mine when I was four years old. I don't remember the pain but mum says I had cried only for the first hour. I think that is why people do it as early as one and half years old, they don't want the child to remember the pain. For the guys out there who wears earrings, I hear that it stings. I guess beauty is pain.

I am not much a fan of jewellery, counting to this day I only have four necklaces , two rings and seven bracelets. But I do have plenty of earrings. The reason of not wanting to buy more does not mean that I am not feminine enough, but its because I hate the idea of wearing expensive things on my neck. My mum bought me a very expensive necklace because I have good grades for my Malaysian Certificate of Education or also known as SPM. I used to wear it everyday and every where until the day someone followed me back home. It was horrifying as bad thoughts intensely circulate in my head at that time. Thus I vow to only wear it on special occasion.

But that is not the only reason, I hear lots of stories of family fighting over inherited jewellery. For one its maybe because it cost a lot and the price of gold jewellery does not depreciate, and secondly its sort of because it can be associated with personal desire that made jewellery seem more than just a piece of metal. In a way its like fighting over make believe things that by owning a jewellery signify something personal. I used to say that, since I only have a brother I would not have to worry for who gets the family jewellery. But a friend told me that if my brother does get marry and have daughters, he might demand for the jewellery as well. But then again, if such things were to happen I think I'll just give it to him, but i'm taking the houses. hahahhaha

Coming back to the question of "When did women decide to start wearing jewellery?" well the mass media for one did a very good job in advertising. Secondly the social status recognition of those wearing are elegant and beautiful. I also hear from married friends that wearing expensive jewellery on certain occasion also shows the generosity and success of the husband. It seems that, if people don't wear jewellery it might lower the pride of their husbands. It is like saying that the husband are not doing well in their business or working life. It a dreaded string of invisible social expectation. Though people would deny such things, it seems that there is no escape to such demand.

I remember an article taken from a book posted somewhere on the net. It says that young Malay women are asked to look and wear decent before stepping out of the house. It is about representing the family that you born from. It symbolizes that you are well mannered and that your parents did good in raising you. Besides that, looking good may lure good candidates for future husbands. And in those days most women are to get married as early as ten years old or the moment you hit puberty (That is why you can meet people who their children are only a decade years different of age with their mothers).

i don't know which stand i would side if there is ever a question between choosing to wear or not to wear jewellery. But one thing i know deep in my heart is that those beautiful mask you wear does not represent who you are. If finding a candidate of husband is about who wears the most expensive jewellery, I think that the husband are full of himself. It reflect that the guys themselves are actually materialistic (though they always say women are the materialistic ones). So here is the conclusion, good friends are the one you contact often while the not so good you contact when you have something you want. Thus, jewellery and I are not good friends as I only use them when there is a need to do so. And that is it.

testing...

i am very shy now.

it has been ages since i wrote anything.

sorry because i have been missing. its a break i needed so much from the overwhelming emotion.

:) missed the sound of typing. tuk!tuk!tuk!